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Preparation Overview
In the Sacrament of Marriage, Jesus Christ unites a baptized man and woman in a lifelong covenantal bond of faithful love. As with all Sacraments, careful and proper preparation ought to be taken. Our goal is to help you have a joy-filled peace-filled Sacramental Marriage.
Beginning the Process
The first step is to contact your parish priest who will give you a description of the complete process. He will determine if you are ready to begin the marriage preparation process or if impediments to marriage, such as a previously attempted marriage, must be removed prior to beginning the process.
The purpose of preparation is to assist each couple in preparing for the lifetime vocation they have chosen
In the Diocese of Sioux City, marriage preparations are to begin at least 6 months prior to the wedding day. It is intended that this preparation be completed early in the engagement to minimize distractions created by the many details pertinent to the celebration of the wedding.
Instructional Process
1. Each couple must complete the FOCCUS inventory
· FOCCUS Inventory is an assessment tool helps the couple to consider their readiness for marriage. Review of the inventory results may involve several meetings of the couple and the pastor.
2. Each couple must participate in at least one of the following Marriage Preparation Programs:
· Engaged Enrichment is a weekend retreat for personal formation and formation as an engaged couple preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage. It is an opportunity to leave the distractions of daily life behind and focus on your relationship with each other and with Jesus Christ. The topics of the Engaged Encounter weekend include, but are not limited to: God’s saving love, Sacraments of Initiation, Sacraments of Healing, Sacraments at the Service of Communion, Rite/Vows of Marriage, Theology of the Body, Sexual Morality, Finance and Budgeting, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
CLICK HERE for schedule and registration form
· Pre-Cana is a one-day format of the Engaged Enrichment for those couples who cannot participate in the Engaged Enrichment, Cana II, or the Sponsor Couple Program. The topics of the Pre-Cana Retreat include, but are not limited to: God’s saving love, Sacraments of Initiation, Sacraments of Healing, Sacraments at the Service of Communion, Vows of Marriage, Theology of the Body, Sexual Morality, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
CLICK HERE for schedule and registration form
· Cana II is a one-day format for couples in which one or both have had annulments or have been widowed. The topics of the Cana II Retreat include, but are not limited to: God’s saving love, Sacraments of Initiation, Sacraments of Healing, Sacraments at the Service of Communion, Vows of Marriage, Theology of the Body, Sexual Morality, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
CLICK HERE for schedule and registration form
· Sponsor couple involves meetings of the engaged couple and a married couple, usually in the home of the married couple. The two couples set the meeting times. Generally five to six sessions are scheduled to complete the material in the resource book. The pastor will provide the name of a couple that has been trained in the sponsor couple program.
3. Training in Natural Family Planning is strongly recommended!
·Natural Family Planning is a means of either achieving or avoiding pregnancy based on the couple’s knowledge of their cyclic fertility and infertility. For more information refer to the Diocese of Sioux City Website or call 712-233-7530 for information on instruction.
Planning the Wedding
· The Catholic wedding ceremony is determined by universal, diocesan and parish policies, as well as by input from the couple. Early in meetings with the person assisting you, you will discuss whether Mass is celebrated with the ceremony, musical selections, environment and decoration, and other specific norms regarding wedding celebrations.
· In general, the wedding date is set tentatively, pending completion of program preparation. In the Sioux City Diocese, weddings may not be scheduled after 2:00 PM on a Saturday. Certain religious feasts will also influence your ability to select readings and prayers from the ritual for marriage.
Cohabitation
· Living together before marriage is not an acceptable practice for those seeking the Sacrament Marriage in the Catholic Church. At the same time, cohabitation does not prohibit a marriage in the church.
· The couple is highly encouraged to separate if at all possible prior to entering into the Sacrament of Marriage.
· The ordinary requirements of the preparation process outlined in this pamphlet will be followed. In addition, because cohabitation raises complex issues, the priest will also discuss with you commitment, roles, and relationships as well as faith and faith practice.
· Additional relationship counseling may be required prior to making a decision about life-long marriage.
· The same guidelines for a wedding ceremony apply to a couple living together before marriage as for any other couple.
Diocesan Policy
· Couples are expected to contact their pastor/associate pastor at least 6-months prior to the date of the intended marriage.
· Interfaith marriages are not ordinarily celebrated with a Mass. Pastoral discretion and sensitivity should be shown by the pastor or priest of the parish.
· Validation of a civil marriage in the Diocese of Sioux City may not take place until at least six-months have passed from the date of the civil marriage.
· If an intended marriage has been preceded by a declaration of nullity for a previous marriage, the conditions of any "cautions" or "restrictions" attached to the sentence of nullity must first be completed before the marriage takes place.
· In cases where one or both parties to intended marriage are less than 19-years of age, special permission of the diocesan chancery is required, and no date for such a wedding can be set until such permission has been granted.
· Any couple living in another diocese but planning to be married in the Diocese of Sioux City is to be prepared in accordance with the requirements of their diocese of residence.
· The wedding of two Catholics is ordinarily to take place in the parish church of the bride or groom.
· Permission for weddings out of doors or in non-parish chapels is not granted
· Saturday weddings are ordinarily not to be celebrated later than 2:00 p.m. unless there are compelling reasons.
· Guidelines related to other special circumstances are outlined in the marriage preparation guidebook.
Annulled
or Widowed
·
While
there are variables in some aspects of preparation for couples that have had or
are seeking annulments or have been widowed, other components are foundational.
·
All
couples complete the FOCCUS inventory, the instrument that helps the couple
assess their relationship, lifestyle choices, and related issues.
·
All
couples attend a Cana II retreat.
If
the former marriage(s) ended due to the death of a spouse:
Obtain
a copy of the death certificate.
·
Proceed
with completing the FOCCUS and attending a Cana II OR meet with a Sponsor
Couple.
·
If
a previous attempted marriage ended due to divorce, freedom to marry in the
Catholic Church must first be verified. A declaration of nullity (annulment)
may be required.
·
If
a declaration of nullity has been granted and no restriction limiting the
person’s freedom-to-marry has been attached, the pastor is to exercise
discretion in either working directly with the couple or having the couple
complete the FOCCUS and attend a Cana II retreat.
·
If
a declaration of nullity for a previous marriage has been obtained but a
restriction has been attached, the person is directed to the Cana II
process. The process involves appointments with a Catholic Charities
staff person. The number of appointments is unique in each
situation.
Validation
· In a civil marriage of less than 3 years :
o Complete FOCCUS Inventory
o The pastor is to exercise discretion in either working directly with the couple or have the couple attend one of the Diocesan Engaged Retreats, and/or the Sponsor Couple Program.
· In a civil marriage of more than 3 years:
o Complete REFOCCUS Inventory
o The pastor is to exercise discretion in either working directly with the couple or have the couple attend one of the Diocesan Engaged Retreats, and/or the Sponsor Couple Program.
o Refer to section on Annulled or Widowed if either party has been previously married which has ended in the death of a spouse or has attempted marriage.
“And the angel said…’Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb’” (Rev. 19:9).
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