God’s design for Marriage… free, fruitful, faithful, total, indissoluble, and unconditional
Preparation Overview
In the Sacrament of Marriage, Jesus Christ unites a baptized man and woman in a lifelong covenantal bond of faithful love. As with all Sacraments, careful and proper preparation ought to be taken. Our goal is to help you have a joy-filled peace-filled Sacramental Marriage.
- The first step is to contact your parish priest who will give you a description of the complete process.
- The purpose of preparation is to assist each couple in preparing for the lifetime vocation they have chosen.
- Reviewing how the practice of your faith will enrich your marriage is part of the preparation process.
- In the Diocese of Sioux City, marriage preparations are to begin at least 6 months prior to the wedding day. It is intended that this preparation be completed early in the engagement to minimize distractions created by the many details pertinent to the celebration of the wedding.
- Any couple living in another diocese but planning to be married in the Diocese of Sioux City is to be prepared in accordance with the requirements of their diocese of residence.
- There are two parts to the Preparation after the initial meeting with the pastor.
- Completing FOCCUS
- Participation in at least one of the two marriage preparation programs, i.e. Marriage Preparation Classes or the Sponsor Couple Program
- Training in Natural Family Planning is strongly recommended!
FOCCUS
The completion of the FOCCUS inventory is a first step in marriage preparation. This assessment tool helps the couple to consider their readiness for marriage.
• Topic areas encompass a holistic view of their relationship, family, friends, and life choices.
• Review of the inventory results may involve several meetings of the couple and the pastor or a member of the pastoral team.
• These meetings may include instructions on basic Catholic teachings and the sacrament of marriage.
NOTE: Please check with your pastor about the costs for FOCCUS.
Preparation Programs
Engaged Enrichment – This is an ideal weekend getaway for personal formation and formation as an engaged couple preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage. This is an opportunity to leave the distractions of daily life behind and focus on your relationship with each other and with Jesus Christ. The team consists of 2 – 4 married couples and a priest.
Topics include: Salvation History, Sacraments of Initiation, Sacraments of Healing, Sacraments at the Service of Communion, Rite/Vows of Marriage, Theology of the Body and Sexual Morality, Finance and Budgeting, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
Registration Fee: $160 per couple ($80.00 non-refundable deposit) includes overnight accommodations, meals, and materials for two people (unless otherwise noted)
June 13-14, 2009 - Sioux City
November 14-15, 2009 - Dayton Oaks
February 6-7, 2010 - Okoboji
March 6-7, 2010 - Okoboji
June 26-27, 2010 - Sioux City
Click here for scheduled programs and a registration form.
For additional information contact the Office of Religious Education and Family Life seanm@scdiocese.org
Cana II – A one-day workshop for couples in which one or both have had or are seeking annulments or have been widowed.
Topics include: Salvation History, Rite/Vows of Sacrament of Marriage, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, Theology of the Body and Sexual Morality, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
Registration Fee: $80.00 per couple ($40, non-refundable deposit) includes lunch and materials for two people. (Fees are subject to change.)
July 25, 2009- Carroll
November 21, 2009 - Sioux City
March 20, 2010 - Pomeroy
Click here for scheduled programs and a registration form.
For additional information contact the Office of Religious Education and Family Life seanm@scdiocese.org
Pre-Cana – A one-day format for ONLY those couples who cannot participate in the Engaged Enrichment, Cana II, or the Sponsor Couple Program.
Topics include: Salvation History, Rite/Vows of Sacrament of Marriage, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Introduction to Natural Family Planning, Theology of the Body and Sexual Morality, and a Panel Discussion with Married Couples (discussing communication, dual careers, addictions, conflict/resolution, personality types, and family origins).
Registration Fee: $120.00 per couple ($45.00, non-refundable deposit) includes lunch and materials for two people.
April 24, 2010 - Sioux City
Click here for scheduled programs and a registration form.
For additional information contact the Office of Religious Education and Family Life seanm@scdiocese.org
Sponsor Couple – This option provides an opportunity for personalized sharing and reflection. A married couple, i.e. the “sponsor couple”, and the engaged couple meet together, usually in the married couple’s home. The married couple and the engaged couple arrange the dates and times of their sessions. Generally there are five to six sessions. The pastor will provide the name of a couple that has been trained in the sponsor couple program. The married couple mentors and shares with the engaged couple the following topics: Sacrament of Marriage, Communication and Family of Origin, Finance and Budgeting, Call to Holiness in Marriage and Family, Sexual Morality and Intimacy, and Natural Family Planning.
Contact your pastor to be connected to a Sponsor Couple from your parish or cluster.
Cost for this program: Contact your pastor for specific costs for this parish based program.
For additional information contact the Office of Religious Education and Family Life seanm@scdiocese.org
Diocesan Policy
1. Couples are expected to contact their pastor/associate pastor at least 6-months prior to the date of the intended marriage.
2. The wedding of two Catholics is ordinarily to take place in the parish church of the bride or groom.
3. Permission for weddings out of doors or in non-parish chapels is not granted.
4. Saturday weddings are ordinarily not to be celebrated later than 2:00 p.m. unless there are compelling reasons.
5. Interfaith marriages are not ordinarily celebrated with a Mass. Pastoral discretion and sensitivity should be shown by the pastor or priest of the parish.
6. Validation of a civil marriage in the Diocese of Sioux City may not take place until at least six-months have passed from the date of the civil marriage.
7. If an intended marriage has been preceded by a declaration of nullity for a previous attempted marriage, the conditions of any “cautions” or “restrictions” attached to the sentence of nullity must first be completed before the marriage takes place.
8. In cases where one-or-both parties to an intended marriage are less than 19-years of age, special permission of the diocesan chancery is required, and no date for such a wedding can be set until such permission has been granted.
9. Guidelines related to other special circumstances are outlined in the marriage preparation guidebook.
Cohabitation
(Living together before Marriage)
1. Living together before marriage is not an acceptable practice for those seeking marriage in the Church. At the same time, cohabitation does not prohibit a marriage in the church.
2. The ordinary requirements of the preparation process outlined in this pamphlet will be followed. In addition, because cohabitation raises complex issues, the priest or pastoral minister will also discuss with you commitment, roles, and relationships as well as faith and faith practice.
3. Additional relationship counseling may be required prior to making a decision about life-long marriage. If so, a referral will be made to Catholic Charities.
4. The same guidelines for a wedding ceremony apply to a couple living together before marriage as for any other couple.
Annulled or Widowed
While there are variables in some aspects of preparation for couples that have had or are seeking annulments or have been widowed, other components are foundational.
1. All couples complete the FOCCUS inventory, the instrument that helps the couple assess their relationship, lifestyle choices, and related issues.
2. All couples attend a Cana II workshop.
The presenting situation of the couple defines the remaining aspects of preparation
A. If the former marriage(s) ended due to the death of a spouse:
• Obtain a copy of the death certificate.
• Proceed with 1 and 2 (described above) OR meet with a Sponsor Couple of similar experience.
B. If a previous attempted marriage ended due to divorce, freedom to marry in the Catholic Church must first be verified. A declaration of nullity (annulment) may be required.
C. If a declaration of nullity has been granted and no restriction limiting the person’s freedom-to-marry has been attached, the pastor is to exercise discretion in either working directly with the couple or referring them to the Cana II process.
• 1 and 2 (as outlined above).
D. If a declaration of nullity for a previous attempted marriage has been obtained but a restriction has been attached, the person is directed to the Cana II process. The process involves appointments with a Catholic Charities staff person. The number of appointments is unique in each situation.
• 1 and 2 (as outlined above).
Validation
Those in a civil marriage of less than 3 years:
• Complete FOCCUS
• Participate in Sponsor Couple or individual appointments with pastor or member of pastoral team.
Those in a civil marriage of more than 3 years:
• Complete REFOCCUS
• Individual meetings with pastor or member of pastoral team.
If either party has been previously married which has ended in the death of a spouse or has attempted marriage, refer to section on Annulled or Widowed.
Planning the Wedding Ceremony
The Catholic wedding ceremony is determined by universal, diocesan and parish policies, as well as by input from the couple. Early in meetings with the person assisting you, you will discuss
• whether Mass is celebrated with the ceremony
• musical selections
• environment and decoration
• other specific norms regarding wedding celebrations.
In general, the wedding date is set tentatively, pending completion of program preparation. In the Diocese of Sioux City, weddings may not be scheduled after 2:00 PM on a Saturday. Certain religious feasts will also influence your ability to select readings and prayers from the ritual for marriage.
NOTE: There is a 10 day registration deadline for Engaged Enrichment, Pre-Cana and Cana II.
This allows time for information to reach each participant. However, programs may reach capacity at anytime, so early registration is encouraged.